From Mediocrity to Semi-Mediocrity

As we near the end of our semester, I’m entering new territory when it comes to my learning style. I’m the kind of student that doesn’t get stressed, I take my time with assignments and i’m usually very content with the product that I create to the point where the grade is an after-thought. Now that Finals are approaching, a blessing and a curse, suddenly everything is coming to a head. I truly believe that some teachers just want to inflict as much pain as possible on their students by cramming tests, presentations, and finals all into a couple class sessions. I’ve entered this new territory of stress and I really despise it almost to the point where my product is slowly fading because i’m losing the joy I felt when creating something of quality.

I understand all the usual bullshit that’s spouted about “This is what it’s like to be an adult” or “You’ll have to get used to this some day”. No, f*ck that, i’ll always take my own happiness over the stress of pleasing a superior or colleague. When it comes down to it, i’m not that bummed if I struggle in Chemistry or French or some other class that isn’t a deep passion of mine but when I start to struggle in an English course, then I feel the pain.

Writing has always been a stronger skill of mine and one that I realize is in no way advanced but still above average. As we work on our stories for our Professional Writing course, i’m finding the actual writing to be the hardest part. This may not be surprising to some people but for me, I thought getting the story would be the hardest part but just writing the article would be nothing. Some writers think self-motivation or taking that first step is the hardest part but I’ve never really struggled there. Katie Tallo, a writer for writetodone.com says,

Taking that first step, not putting it off for sometime down the road is where we all tend to stumble or hesitate or get distracted. That road can be long and filled with roadblocks and detours

It’s new ground for me, one that has me stressed but I’ve been looking for something to really challenge my skills and force me to improve in some way as a writer. I don’t know the areas of writing that I’m lacking in, but when my skills are challenged, then my flaws become very obvious.

After the fact, I always enjoy a challenge, but when I’m sitting here desperately writing to keep myself on track, it’s hard to see the joy in being pushed to a new limit.

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3 thoughts on “From Mediocrity to Semi-Mediocrity

  1. I am too struggling with the same things right now as finals and end of the semester assignments are starting to drown us. I like your article’s topic because you talk about the struggles of English courses or the struggles of someone with a major that has to do with writing. Most people think if you are an English or professional writing major that you are taking easy courses, which is far from the truth. Writing can be a difficult task but I think this course is making us better at it!

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  2. As a person who likes to call herself a ‘writer’, I get where you’re coming from in every aspect of this post, my dude. In high school I never struggled, doing my own things I can only say that I’ve only been the kind to face the issue of ‘the blank screen’. However, it’s a totally new thing to realize that something you’re skilled with is something you’re starting to find troubling. It’s like the spark for a potential identity crisis.

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  3. I totally understand this feeling. When I applied for the school, I was promised a Creative Writing Major, a major the school took away right before my freshman year. When I started my freshman year, the school put me into the Professional Writing Major instead and insisted that it wouldn’t be that different than what I wanted to learn. Clearly, they didn’t know what they were taking about, because I landed in completely unexplored and unknown territory for me. For me, it was frustrating and stressful, because I wasn’t able to work on the style of writing I was aiming for. But even in moments like these, I was challenged in more ways than one to break out of my comfort zone and in this I found that I was learning more about myself as a writer and expanding my knowledge. It was a blessing in disguise; to learn that there were other options out there in the world for me to explore. And though the school doesn’t have my desired major, I found ways to accommodate for that with an independent study for a fiction writing class and picking up a creative writing class along the way. It was a wake-up call I needed.

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